Overheard in the kitchen...

We're Chinese, we don't have time to be polite!!
We got shit to do, like procreate and take over the world dammit!

On sympathetic friends

Him:
URGENT!!! HE'S STILL HERE!! HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM?? HELP!!

Me:
Tell him you have the AIDS

Him:
WHAT??

Me:
Ok, ok, crabs then

Him:
That's not funny.

Me:
I dunno, I'm laughing....

Outgoing

Me:
I think I peed on my sweater.

Her:
As opposed to...?

Me:
The toilet??

Her:
Well. It's absorbent, right??

Yogging, anyone?

Her:
I'm thinking of trying this new fad called jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j, I'm not sure

Me:
THAT I have to see. Do you jog in heels with a fag in your mouth???

Her:
I actually haven't picked my outfit out yet....

The Electoral Disease...

Me:
It's kind of like a bad rash...

Him:
like the Quebec Nationalists

Me:
no, thats like herpes. You think it's gone then IT COMES BACK